Surrealist Category

10. Jaded- Aerosmith

Sort of Venetian Masquerade meets Gothic. It’s surreal in a way that it has that Alice in Wonderland kind of effect. From the set, to the Venetian circus, and most especially the mannequin-like maids, everything appears to be beautifully weird. It also has a nice story to it that kinda jives with the lyrics. It’s worth watching! One of my favorite music videos of all time!

9. Hunter- Bjork

It’s the weirdest four minutes I’ve watched from Bjork. Well of course expect that from this lady. In this song, you get a bald Bjork in H&S shot, and some weird visual effects that make her look like an alien. Add the fact that the music is sorta creepy. BTW, this was used in the OST of the first X-Files movie.

8. Caught a Lite Sneeze – Tori Amos

Knowing Tori Amos means you don’t expect anything typical from her. In her earlier days, from Boys of Pele, she released one of her most cryptic songs (in my humble opinion) Caught a Lite Sneeze. And to accompany this, she also made a really strange dream-like music video. Watch!

7. Corporate Cannibal – Grace Jones

This is perhaps the most artistically creepy music video I’ve seen. The song is already quite scary if you listen to it. And match it with a continually distorting face of Grace Jones while saying “I’m a man eating-machine”… well, it just terrifies me. Freaky!

6. Bedtime Story – Madonna

I’m not a big fan of Madonna but this is the BEST MUSIC VIDEO I’ve ever seen in my entire life. It’s surreal and symbolic and artistically awesome! The cinematography and effects really amaze me. The concept was also wonderfully crafted to make  a freaky yet stylish imagery. Much of this video also reminds me of Jennifer Lopez’s movie The Cell (though this MV came first). This video also won a ton of awards and is even shown in the museum of contemporary art!

Scary/Explicit Category

5. Firestarter – Prodigy

I really do not like this video because this freaks me out – so freaky that it’s on this list. The man singing really fits a face of a killer with ADHD. Plus, his hair looks like they’re horns of evil.

4. Parabola – Tool

I’m not really a fan of this genre but the video deserves a spot on this list. It really is a STRANGE music video featuring weird human-like creatures and a dissection of an alien??? Now this is getting weirder.

3. Closer – Nine Inch Nails

Again, I’m not  a fan of Trent Reznor nor of this genre, but the video fits on this list. It depicts a freaky experiment gone wrong featuring lots of profane images (monkey on a cross???), cockroaches, nudity, and a beating heart (literally).Let’s better stick to Glee after watching this…

2. Come to Daddy – Aphex Twin

Again, I’m not a fan of  this genre. This is the darkest, creepiest, weirdest, and most horrific music video I’ve seen. It landed the 35th spot in UK Film4′s 100 Greatest Scary moments. You’ll see why. Watch below.

1. Born Free – MIA

Very controversial video that’s been recently and intially banned from YouTube. The video is very political and depicts genocide in a VERY VIOLENT way. It’s a no holds barred video showing nudity and extreme violence. Yes, she’s the girl behind “Paper Planes” and you wouldn’t believe what you’ll see when you watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnHWaMMBCmM

1. Always have two feather dusters.

Cars easily accumulate dust. Even if you’ve already cleaned it, in a few hours dust can gather again to the surface of your car. So usually, the mindset here, is you’ll either wash it out with water or use a damp cloth. But cleaning with water can be time consuming while using a wet cloth can be a lot messier. So the best way is NOT to wet your car. Instead, use a feather duster. This will shoo away dust especially from your windows. The second feather duster can be used for your interior. Don’t use one feather duster for your interior and exterior.

2. You can use kerosene for asphalt stains/ hard-to-remove stains.

Asphalt stains are black, rough, and tough to remove. Sometimes, even regular car soap won’t take it out. So one household remedy for this is kerosene. Damp a little kerosene on a dry towel and simply rub it on the black stain. Kerosene also works for other stains that can’t be removed by simple washing.

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-3. Always have a chamois skin.

It’s a necessity to have this with you when you clean your car. Chamois is a nice cloth that can keep your car clean and shiny. You usually use this AFTER you wash your car. It’s a great absorbent material that takes out some wet spots after you’ve washed your car. This is also a great material for wiping windows. If you are in a hurry and you’re windows are dirty, you can use chamois to clean them. Just remember that it should be a bit damp when used.

4. Get a Starbucks “Grounds for Your Garden”

Perhaps the best tip I got from other car owners is the use of a Starbucks Compost Pack as a car freshener. It may sound weird but it’s definitely great. The “grounds” release an ambient scent of coffee in your car since these are the “excesses” of the pressed coffee beans. I usually put the pack underneath the driver’s seat but some put it inside the trunk. And I absolutely enjoy the coffee scent.

Just remember, don’t open the bag!

And oh, by the way, the best thing about this is that it’s FREE!

Warning: If you are a fan of Justin Bieber, do not read any further. Instead, go here.

Yeah, so Bieber is the hottest thing right now. “Tweens” are so crazy over him, they’re like rabid wolves that smelled a piece of fresh meat. Ahh, fresh meat! Maybe I could lend myself to this craziness and prove that I am a hardcore Bieber fan! And thus I present you “The 6 Things About Bieber That You Don’t Know!”

6. Bieber Fever is actually the Bubonic Plague.

If my records are correct, the Bubonic Plague, which had once spread through rats, have now used Justin Bieber as host to cause a return of the pandemic. In fact, the secret scrolls of Biberia reveal that the end of 2012 will in fact happen because the Biebonic Bubonic Plague will affect all the “tweenz” living in this planet! The plague has already spread in North America, Europe, and even Australia! There is no escape! Even the Center for Disease Control has not found any cure for this mad disease! If you want to avoid infection, turn off your radio, your tv, stop surfing the internet, and go fly to Greenland for safety!

As of the moment, eight people were sent to the hospital because of the Bieber Craze!

5. Justin Bieber is Hannah Montana.

The resemblance is uncanny! Tired of wearing a blonde wig, singing to some country tunes, and being shot at by the paparazzi, the Miley flees LA and settles in Canada. From there, she cuts her hair, dyes it to chestnut brown and finally baptizes herself as… Justin Bieber. “Tween” fans buy it so it’s a win-win situation! She gets a big comeback, rakes in a lot of ca$$h from unknowing children, and escape the old ghost of the Hannah Montana that was. Oh wait, is “Bieber” also a state in Canada?

4. Bieber won an Academy Award for the 1999 movie, Boys Don’t Cry.

Remember that groundbreaking movie where Bieber had to play the role of a trans-gender? Well, playing that tough role really earned him an Oscar.

Oh wait…what? So you’re telling me it wasn’t Bieber? It’s Hilary Swank? I thought Hilary Swank was a stunt double?

Oh what the heck, TMZ will clear this up! Read the article and find out the truth! http://www.tmz.com/2010/01/12/justin-bieber-hilary-swank-photo/

3. Justin Bieber has a third eye.

That is why he brushes down his hair like a mop head. It’s not because he wants to look “cool” and “hip”; it’s the simple fact that he wants to hide his third eye. See? There is a reason for everything. And it’s very practical too since he doesn’t have to spend $$ to have plastic surgery. All he has to do is brush down his hair. Brush brush brush!

2. The best news ever: Bieber forgives Obama.

It’s all over the internet. So probably it’s the single most important issue that we all should sit down on and discuss… OMG, Bieber forgives Obama! We are spared from destruction! Maybe we can ask him to go to Kim Jong Il and sway him to stop producing nuclear warheads using his beautiful wig hair and angelic voice!

So children, remember this. NEVER ever get Bieber’s name wrong. It’s BEE-BER and not BYE-BER. One small phonemic error and Bieber will send you to Guantanamo Bay.

See the story here.

1. Bieber is not gay… she’s straight.

And she’s the straightest girl she could possibly be.

In a recent trip to NZ, he excited himself with bungee jumping. And just right when he was let go, a strange scream of a girl echoed… Could that be Justin Bieber? Anyway, we can’t really say it was her him… But if ever it was, well, kudos to you for making that jump.

See the TMZ story here.

I am an avid fan of surrealist cinema. And for the past four years, I’ve been on the search for movie genres that usually don’t get mainstream attention. In this list, forget Hannah Montana or Avatar because these movies are far from familiar. I present you my “Five Movies That Will Make You Say…WTF!”

5. The Machinist

Way before Christian Bale chased The Joker around Gotham city (in a tight black “mansuit”), he was the stick-thin Trevor Reznik in the movie The Machinist. Rumor has it that he had to lose 60 pounds for the role, whereas he was previously a hot-bod hunk in American Psycho. Though this movie attempts to explain the mystery (that runs throughout the plot) towards the end, you’ll still be left with the same disturbed feeling since you first saw his frailty at the beginning. The plot moves along like Memento; you’re tagged along in a zig-zag storyline, leaving enough clues for you to unlock the mystery. But the “WTF” moments usually appear in the movie at times when you assume what you see is real. And that’s the problem here: you might have a hard time telling which ones are really happening in the movie from ones that come from Reznik’s mind.

The movie received a lot of positive reviews in it’s visual appeal. The dark and cold tones used for the shots made it a truly mind-numbing film. Ebert gives 3 stars for this film while other online reviews range from 3-4 stars out of 5.

Starring: Christian Bale // Directed by: Brad Anderson

Best Scene: Trevor Reznik getting all angry.

4. Donnie Darko

Now with a cult following, Donnie Darko has left a mark in the world of surrealist film by trying to tap into our existential intelligence. Through the character of Donnie, aka Jake Gyllenhaal, the movie bravely attempts to unravel questions we only usually encounter in philosophy class.  Questions about time travel and worm holes aren’t presented in a scientific way (no not sci-fi) but rather is only used to depict the “strangeness” that is Donnie Darko. The plot in this story is again, not so typical. Even though it follows a chronological order, as the story counts down the days, you’ll still find yourself lost in certain scenes. When you watch this film, you might reach the point when you just want to press the “stop” button or fall asleep. BUT, if you stick with it ’til the end, you won’t regret it. (PS: Watch out for the bunny…)

The movie generally received a lot of positive reviews and has been awarded in some film festivals including a Grand Jury prize in Sundance. It has been ranked 9th in Film4′s 50 Films to See Before You Die.

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Noah Wyle, Drew Barrymore // Directed by: Richard Kelly

Best Scene: Donnie Darko philosophizing the Smurfs.

3. Mulholland Drive

As posted earlier in this blog, Mulholland Drive is a mind-bending thriller that’ll leave you those “WTF”s floating in your head. The plot has a lot of twists… Or rather, forget the plot because there isn’t any. From start to finish, you’ll keep wondering what the hell happened to all the literature lessons you’ve learned in college. In fact, the movie ending is so baffling, a website was dedicated to it, www.mulholland-drive.net. It seemed to have been put up years ago when the movie was still fresh, yet it never runs out of comments from web users because this movie will keep you looking for answers.

Roger Ebert has given this a 4-star rating, his highest rating in all of David Lynch’s more known movies. Film Comment magazine also placed the movie on the top spot in their “150 Best Films of the Decade” list!

Starring: Naomi Watts, Laura Elena Harring // Directed by: David Lynch

Best Scene: The Mexican woman, Rebekah del Rio, singing “Crying” in Spanish.

2. Sweet Movie

This is definitely one of the most explicit movies I’ve watched ever. Sweet Movie is a pretty old film dating back to 1970s with the director, Dusan Makavejev, still a Yugoslav back then (obviously a country that no longer exists.) It’s a mix of crazy, dirty, and shocking scenes that will either keep your eyes on the screen or your foot at the door. As what some critics would say, I certainly agree that the movie is more of “experiential” as Ebert would put it; it tries to attack your senses through imagery rather than letting you follow a storyline. You’ll see a love scene in a bed of sugar then later on drench it with lover’s blood. You’ll see a beauty queen enslaved by an oil tycoon. Then in the last hour of the film… well, I had to press fastforward. It’s a disturbing movie if you ask me, and it’s got a lot of no-holds-barred scenes that will really leave you saying “WTF!” a bazillion times (if there is even such a term).

Though Rottentomatoes.com gave this a low rating, critics like Ebert found this movie one-of-a-kind. The movie actually has a lot to say. It’s a social commentary that uses a lot of visual (albeit explicit) allegories. This one should definitely be kept in art houses. As of the current, the movie is still banned in a lot of countries.

Starring: Carole Laure, John Vernon // Directed by: Dusan Makavejev

Best Scene: River Boat entrance

1. The Holy Mountain

If you are still serious in digging through this list of mine, then you have come to the deep end of surrealist films. This is perhaps the darkest, most hidden part of cinema. If it wasn’t for my love and curiosity for film, I wouldn’t discover this last piece, which I consider a true surrealist masterpiece. Along with Sweet Movie, The Holy Mountain is a film only shown in select film circles and academes. It is definitely not mainstream even though The Beatles have funded the production of this movie. The movie opens in the same way the poster shows it. And from there towards the end, you’ll never get to understand anything at the surface. It’s not a movie that you watch to enjoy. Rather, the movie will barrage you with a lot of visual allegories, parallelisms, paradoxes , etc… that’ll keep you thinking ’til the end.

Not much information can be found on this movie except that it was possibly screened at the Cannes Film Festival back in 1973. In my opinion, the movie is ultimately strange yet it touches on the higher realms of religion. Up to know, I cannot fully understand this movie. So it’s still a big WTF to me. A truly bizarre experience.

Starring: Alejandro Jodorowsky, Horacio Salinas // Directed by: Alejandro Jodorowsky

Best Strangest Scene: EVERYTHING

-MR

Admit it. You are a Facebook game addict just like me. You pretend to be doing office work when in fact, you’re actually harvesting, planting, grooming, and sending lemon tress as gifts. Aha!

But I guess its okay. You can’t let yourself drown in boredom. A dose of excitement is needed to make routines more bearable. So thank God for Facebook games.

I’ve listed down five FB games that rose to popularity based on my social circle. Have you tried all of them?

1. Farm Ville

DUH. Dreaming to be a farmer hasn’t been this cool. For a while, you’ve junked your dreams of becoming the next CEO in  your company to be a haciendero.

The game is pretty simple and to be frank, it’s not really THAT exciting. You plant, add neighbors, buy decorations, and wait for harvest time.

So what keeps people hooked on this? Well, perhaps it’s that “harvest time” joy (that makes this game unique BTW.) You plant seeds that would take three days to harvest, then you wait anxiously for harvest time. Plus, it allows you to make your virtual DREAM farm. Now if only that harvest money can be converted into real cash…

2. Typing Maniac

Right before Farm Ville’s “claim to fame”, there was Typing Maniac (which flooded our news feeds with the line “____beats your best score in Typing Maniac!”.)

It’s a game that tests your typing speed and strange enough, this game really improved my typing skills! Now the concept may sound so stenographer-ish, but you cannot deny the excitement of using  freeze to type all the words before they fall.

So why did people like this? Because it made you scream !@#$% after you failed to type the last word.

3. Restaurant City

Though not as popular as Farm Ville, this one caught the attention of those who wanted to experience a different kind of restaurant game made popular by Diner Dash.

In this game, you’ll manage your own restaurant, hire friends, make your FB enemies your waiters/janitors, and learn new recipes to serve. It’s quite a complicated game and it requires a lot of your attention to maintain it. So maybe that’s why I hadn’t played this too much.

4. Mafia Wars

Though it pains me to add this on the list, this game deserves a spot here because of its popularity as well.

This game still appears on my news feed from time to time. I’ve been seeing it since the time of Typing Maniac and it’s still RECRUITING ME to play. UGH.

I tried playing this game already and it just wasn’t appealing to me. I mean I like The Godfather and all, but not this mafia game.

5. Pet Society

Virtual pets just wouldn’t die. They’ve been here since the Tamagochi sensation (circa 1990s) and now, it has set foot in the world of Facebook.

Carrying a different name and “cuter” pets, the idea remains  the same. You pick a pet, dress it up, feed it, decorate its home, play with it, etc…

The great thing though about this game is that it offers really cool items. Shops are regularly updated so you can keep your pet trendy and “in”.

Pet society used to enjoy the limelight but because it’s a pretty “stagnant” game, people moved on with other FB apps.

In need of ice cream?

When there’s no gelato or DQ Blizzard or Bake&Churn around to satisfy your urge, I turn to next best thing- NESTLE DRUMSTICK WITH KITKAT!

In my neighborhood, there’s no fancy ice cream shop. The fanciest establishment is Starbucks – which up to now, does NOT serve COFFEE ICE CREAM…

So for my ice cream quick fix, I run to the nearest mini-grocery. That’s when I discovered Drumstick With KitKat! I have no idea how long this thing has been existing but it sure is deelish!

Because I am a self-confessed KitKat addict, having a stick jammed right in the middle of the cone is simply heaven! Now I wonder why DQ doesn’t serve “crushed KitKat” in their blizzards! (If they can do it on an Oreo, then why not KitKat right?)

It only costs P33 pesos in our grocery. And at least it kinda spiced up my rather boring snack choices.

Note: Do not try to pull out the KitKat bar while eating it.

What happened on Mulholland Drive?

I swear, this is not your typical mystery-thriller.

The King of Avant-Garde Film, David Lynch, leads us on a deranged and surreal world of murder and deceit.

In my search for the strangest films ever made, I came across this unique movie from David Lynch.

The Gist

The movie is a mystery. Period. Up to now, many people who’ve seen this are still quite confused. The movie is so effectively intriguing that a website: mulholland-drive.net has been made to serve as a discussion area for those who couldn’t understand the whole point of the film. I myself will attest to the fact that I am still bothered by the film after watching it around four times last year.

The Story

Given that its surrealistic in nature, don’t expect this to have a strict linear storyline. Following the likes of Memento or The Machinist, the story plays around with every element that by the end, you just can’t fit the pieces together.

The story revolves around the lives of two women: Betty Elms and Diane Selwyn. Or should I say four? Whatever. Anyway, with the ambition to claim a name in Hollywood showbiz, Betty Elms (played by Naomi Watts) arrives in LA. She temporarily takes shelter in her old aunt’s apartment (who already died). Surprisingly, she encounters a woman with amnesia who names herself Diane Selwyn (Laura Elena Harring). From here, the story goes crazy.

Why Watch It?

This movie is a MUST-SEE especially if you’re bored. The movie will really shake up your brain cells and will challenge your conventional ideas. The story is well-written and it will keep fueling your curiosity until the end. The imagery is exceptional and is matched with beautiful yet haunting cinematography and sound.You’ll also get to see Naomi Watt’s great acting here which catapulted her into Hollywood mainstream.

So if you want a taste of a good surrealist movie, then you have to see Mulholland Drive.

Rating: mmmmm

This movie is not suitable for children. Viewer discretion is strongly advised.