Disclaimer: These are not facts and whatever is written here is used for humor purposes only.
Warning: If you are a fan of Justin Bieber, do not read any further. Instead, go here.
Yeah, so Bieber is the hottest thing right now. “Tweens” are so crazy over him, they’re like rabid wolves that smelled a piece of fresh meat. Ahh, fresh meat! Maybe I could lend myself to this craziness and prove that I am a hardcore Bieber fan! And thus I present you “The 6 Things About Bieber That You Don’t Know!”
6. Bieber Fever is actually the Bubonic Plague.
If my records are correct, the Bubonic Plague, which had once spread through rats, have now used Justin Bieber as host to cause a return of the pandemic. In fact, the secret scrolls of Biberia reveal that the end of 2012 will in fact happen because the Biebonic Bubonic Plague will affect all the “tweenz” living in this planet! The plague has already spread in North America, Europe, and even Australia! There is no escape! Even the Center for Disease Control has not found any cure for this mad disease! If you want to avoid infection, turn off your radio, your tv, stop surfing the internet, and go fly to Greenland for safety!
As of the moment, eight people were sent to the hospital because of the Bieber Craze!
5. Justin Bieber is Hannah Montana.
The resemblance is uncanny! Tired of wearing a blonde wig, singing to some country tunes, and being shot at by the paparazzi, the Miley flees LA and settles in Canada. From there, she cuts her hair, dyes it to chestnut brown and finally baptizes herself as… Justin Bieber. “Tween” fans buy it so it’s a win-win situation! She gets a big comeback, rakes in a lot of ca$$h from unknowing children, and escape the old ghost of the Hannah Montana that was. Oh wait, is “Bieber” also a state in Canada?
4. Bieber won an Academy Award for the 1999 movie, Boys Don’t Cry.
Remember that groundbreaking movie where Bieber had to play the role of a trans-gender? Well, playing that tough role really earned him an Oscar.
Oh wait…what? So you’re telling me it wasn’t Bieber? It’s Hilary Swank? I thought Hilary Swank was a stunt double?
Oh what the heck, TMZ will clear this up! Read the article and find out the truth! http://www.tmz.com/2010/01/12/justin-bieber-hilary-swank-photo/
3. Justin Bieber has a third eye.
That is why he brushes down his hair like a mop head. It’s not because he wants to look “cool” and “hip”; it’s the simple fact that he wants to hide his third eye. See? There is a reason for everything. And it’s very practical too since he doesn’t have to spend $$ to have plastic surgery. All he has to do is brush down his hair. Brush brush brush!
2. The best news ever: Bieber forgives Obama.
It’s all over the internet. So probably it’s the single most important issue that we all should sit down on and discuss… OMG, Bieber forgives Obama! We are spared from destruction! Maybe we can ask him to go to Kim Jong Il and sway him to stop producing nuclear warheads using his beautiful wig hair and angelic voice!
So children, remember this. NEVER ever get Bieber’s name wrong. It’s BEE-BER and not BYE-BER. One small phonemic error and Bieber will send you to Guantanamo Bay.
See the story here.
1. Bieber is not gay… she’s straight.
And she’s the straightest girl she could possibly be.
In a recent trip to NZ, he excited himself with bungee jumping. And just right when he was let go, a strange scream of a girl echoed… Could that be Justin Bieber? Anyway, we can’t really say it was her him… But if ever it was, well, kudos to you for making that jump.
See the TMZ story here.
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